Teen Driving Contracts: A Proactive Approach for Parents

Driving contracts between parents and teens are designed to set reasonable expectations and limitations of vehicle usage and behaviors on the road. Beyond teaching a teen how to drive, parents must establish a set of guidelines that balance your concerns as a parent, and a teen’s newly found freedom and independence.

According to the Novice Teen Driver Education and Training Administrative Standard from adtsea.org, the more time parents spend teaching their teens and setting guidelines for safe driving, the lower the chances of teens being involved in a crash.

The following provides an overview of the best ways to approach building a driving contract with your teen and engaging them in a manner that is befitting of a respected participant.

Components of Driving Contracts

Successful driving contracts include three important steps:

1. A collaborative conversation on making the contract.
2. A document detailing all agreed upon rules.
3. Consequences for contract violations.

 

STEP 1: The Contract Conversation

When talking to your teen, make sure to listen and encourage his/her input as much as possible while still keeping the terms you feel to be the most important. The conversation should start positively by celebrating your teen getting his or her license, and then continue with these steps:

1. Define what your teen can expect from you in the contract (i.e. who pays for insurance costs, gas and maintenance, and when your teen is allowed to use the car.)

2. Have your teen list driving priorities, including common destinations and activities to which they drive.

3. Create a contingency plan for your teen’s priorities in case they lose driving privileges.

STEP 2: Observable vs. Non-Observable Rules

Your driving contract will most likely include both observable and non-observable rules. The observable rules will be monitored 100% of the time, such as checking your teen’s odometer each week to see if they’ve driven their maximum mile limit.

The non-observable rules are when you can’t see what is or isn’t being followed, such as wearing a seatbelt. These rules are based largely on trust, which is the basis of your contract. You should emphasize the trust you are placing in your teen, rather than focusing on the consequences for bad behavior.

STEP 3: Consequences

Define consequences with your teen that directly relate to each rule and match the violated behavior. Make sure that the consequences are not overly severe for your teen or penalizing for you.

You don’t want your teen to feel compelled to rebel, or you to be inconvenienced, making it more difficult to stick to the contract. You should also include the natural consequences, such as speeding fines, higher insurance rates and injury to self or others.

To check if everything is clearly understood, have you and your teen sign by each rule after the contract is printed. Don’t forget to praise your teen for following the rules, and end the contract conversation on a positive note.

Rewarding positive behavior is a lot more effective than punishing bad behavior. The terms you’ve negotiated can also be updated and adjusted as needed.

Enforcement

The following steps will help you enforce the rules:

1. Clearly and calmly state the rule that has been broken.

2. Let your teen know that this behavior is unacceptable and the reason why.

3. Emphasize that the rule remains in effect.

4. Enforce the previously agreed upon consequence for breaking this rule.

It may be easier said than done for some parents, as this is sometimes difficult on both the teen and parent. Remember these two important aspects of enforcement:

• It’s OK to be the parent and take charge. If you feel they have done something wrong, speak up, provide a warning if necessary and set the punishment.

• You are not required to be perfect, fair or like other parents. You are enforcing the rules based on what you believe to be safe practices and because you love your teen.

The best tool in tough situations is to redirect the conversation back to the contract signed. The focus of the conversation needs to remain on your teen and the contract you both agreed to, despite the possibility of your teen shifting the focus on your faults or mistakes.

Creating and enforcing rules shows that you care. Your teen understands this, even if they complain. Driving contracts and conversations will not only protect your teen and influence their decisions, but build trust and stronger relationships in your family.

What’s Your Experience?

What is the most important component of driving contracts for you? Have you created driving contracts with your teen? If so, what are the most effective strategies and conversations you’ve had?

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